Ep 9- Dating After Heartbreak | with Morgan Rockwell
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Welcome to Dating Greatly!
Today on the show, Morgan Rockwell. Morgan is a spiritual coach and a Akashic Records practitioner and healer. Don't worry, she will tell you all about what that is and what that means.
She's also the broken heart mender, and primarily assists others in getting over heartbreak and bringing more love and joy into their lives by helping them create a life that's aligned with their true calling.
I'm super excited to be chatting with Morgan today, especially around dating after heartbreak or divorce. I hope you enjoyed today's episode.
Y: I’m at my Grandma’s house now in Germany, this was her office.
M: I love it.
Y: Do you like my decor?
M: I do. It reminds me so much of like typical, like a Portuguese decor as well, like I love it. It's, it's so you.
Y: Thank you so much Morgan for being here with me today. Before we get into helping women kind of come up with some tangible and practical ways that they can start healing their heartbreak, navigating the dating scene after this has happened, I want to dive into your story a little bit.
I would love to know how you came to be the broken heart, mender.
M: I was in a position in my life, which in a very tricky crossroads.
I was in a relationship that just had turned very unsupportive and toxic for me. And we had two kids together. And the tricky part was, is that we were living in Portugal, which was his country, not mine.
And that's where the children were born.
And ultimately it ended up being decided that I had to stay here and not go home to the states where I'm from. And so that was a really shattering moment for me. So luckily I had the Akashic records to really lean on. To help me through my whole divorce, accessing my own records, seeking guidance from my guardians.
And the moment that happened, I was shown this image of this really beautiful life here for me, which was so contrasting to this shattering feeling I had inside of me
where I just splintered into a million little pieces. It really helped me in mending my heart and I thought, you know what? I am not the only person who has gone through a really life altering event, whether it be a divorce or a loss, a trauma that has left them feeling shattered in a million pieces and don't know where to go forward in order to create a beautiful life. And so I really just felt called to reach out and assist anybody who is in need of assistance in mending their heart.
Y: Wow. Yeah. What a story. I definitely want to get into the Akashic records and find out more about that. But before we do that, as you're telling your story, I just think about women or people in general that go through a separation, if their kind of day-to-day reality stays the same, it's still so often that, that we feel alone and totally detached.
But for you, you're on a different continent and in a different country without your support system. So what was that like for you? I have this image when you take the little man on Google Street view and you drop him somewhere. Like, okay, here you go!
M: And that's what I felt like. I had these two kids and literally the only thing I had inside of me was, I just wanna go home. I'm in a country I don't know. I had to move to, I had to choose a city to move to. I moved to a city where I didn't know one person. Luckily there's more expats here that speak English. My Portuguese is passable enough, but let's face it, in moments of stress when your nervous system is not in a happy place, tackling a foreign language is not the most soothing thing to do. Especially in terms of enrolling your kids in school or speaking with a doctor if one of you are sick.
You know, I really had to define, redefine what home looked like for me, and I really just started with what was a functional comfort zone for myself and for a while that really only looked like getting up, taking a shower,
taking my kids to school and coming back home. That's the best that I could do cuz I didn't have a community here, so I had to really understand how can I be the best support for myself.
Y: So how long did it take you until you noticed a shift? And when did that shift come?
M: When we got divorced, I was allowed to go home and take my boys home for a couple of months. We got back and being a foreigner here and trying to secure a place to live is so challenging and I wasn't given any like paper that would help me. Like, I really need a house. I have children. They're enrolled in this school here, there are Portuguese citizens. Like, oh my gosh. It was,
it was just this really overwhelming transition. And so I think that's also narrowed down my comfort zone. When I finally got a house and got them into school, I ended up really severely anemic.
All of the transition just fried out my nervous system and the mental body, like my mind was trying to figure out everything of all these puzzle pieces of everything I didn't know. And I was in panic and survival the whole time. Seeing a lab result where I had almost zero iron in my body was like, okay, I can give myself permission to give into this feeling of exhaustion I'm feeling and rest.
And once I did that, I mean my numbers came back very quickly. I started to feel much better in a quick way. And I was able to start going out and checking out different aspects of the city. Doing different things and really balancing, instead of me feeling like I have to build this life for myself, and the kids are in school and so now I gotta figure out my work and all of these things. I just really allowed myself to go with the flow and talk to my nervous system.
Y: I think as women we tend to kind of power through and continue to take care of things. Especially when you have kids, of course you have responsibilities. From my own experience and also the women that I speak with, it's the distraction as well. Doing all the the things, getting all the things done. That way I don't have to feel this. Like the overwhelm, the sadness, the grief, and then
the moment that you give yourself permission to let go and rest and allow those emotions to come through. I find that catapults our healing anyway, the moment we allow ourselves to look and feel.
M: It does. And that distraction is something I work with a lot. So especially like you said, moms with kids, is one of the personas I see. And personas aren't a negative thing. They generally keep us safe. The Single mom persona I work with a lot because we need to to dive in and make sure our kids aren't missing out on anything. Cuz now we're one, we aren't two, and we wanna manage them through this transition as well. So we go into overdrive or hyperdrive of busy mom. And that's great for a time being, but we need to also make sure we're not staying there because that can prevent our own healing and our own evolving forward and allowing ourselves to have some more joy and love in our life, which we tend to not leave space for when we're just In that zone of having to be a single mom.
Finding balance. And that is something I help women work with a lot.
Y: I wonder within this crazy time of your life, how did you feel about getting out there and meeting your person?
M: It's really interesting because even through the relationship and the time I was here in Portugal and married, I was still very lonely. And like I just knew we were not on the same evolution, so to speak. We were not on the same growth and it was not a very supportive nor fulfilling relationship. And so really looking at those aspects of myself as to why I manifested that, why I created that, what part did I play in that?
That helped me cuz of course I had this longing to really be with somebody. I wanted to be with somebody I want to. It's only recently that I've gotten more and more curious. I've had to really take a look at what my values are, what do I really desire out of a relationship? And I've had to start redefining what my notion of love is.
So we have all of this love conditioning throughout our whole life and how we give and receive. And if we're not fully aware of what's going on in the conscious mind of what we think love is, it can really cause a lot of muck. So
I have really slowed down and have intricately unraveled all of these little things to make sure this new energy of love that I desire and deserve can come forward that it has all this space.
Another thing is that I believe in meeting people organically. And I know that dating apps work for many, many people. I am one that I need to feel into their energy, and you can do that through an app, but it's distant for me. My pathway there is continuing to unwind these patterns and these things within myself to make sure that I'm really open to receive this energy of love that I want. So I have not met anybody yet. I do believe it's right around the corner.
I feel like I'm in a very good space for it. And it's going to happen in a very organic fashion for me.
Y: What you said exactly. It's like, this is the time! My person, my divine masculine is right around the corner. I know he's going to show up in my life and right now I'm using this time like you, getting really clear about my values, what I want from a relationship, and how I wanna show up.
In the past I would write down lists of traits and qualities I would want in a partner. And it'd be like “supportive” and “loyal”, but I'd never unpack each thing. What does each quality look like? What does that sound like? What does that feel like? Getting so clear and also anything that ends up on the qualities that I wanna attract is, asking myself, am I meeting those qualities? Am I being that?
But it's such an exciting time even doing this and preparing.
M: It is, and that's lovely. I have fun doing it. Sometimes I unpack it the other way, like I make a list of all of the qualities that I can bring to a table, I can bring to a relationship. Kinda like reverse manifesting, right? Because if you think about it, your divine masculine is trying to manifest this divine feminine who is you. And so by really nurturing that manifestation from his side, put out your list of the beautiful qualities that you bring to the table and what that looks like in the form of you. And so that helps. Again, those specifics really help narrow down because Universe wants us to have what we desire, but if we aren't giving these details, they can be filled in in ways we don't understand.
And when we think we're ready, something will come up. The other day I read a quote by Sarah Prout- I love her books, and she's a wonderful author. And it was like:
when your heart is open, your soulmate will show up.
Oh. And it triggered me so much and I was like, wait a minute! What happened there? My heart is so open. I am ready for love and my soulmate hasn't shown up, but it really helped me unpack further this notion of, being good enough exactly where I am. It really helped me get into this subconscious mind of being like, okay, my kids are five and four and they're super crazy sometimes, and who's gonna wanna join this circus? You know what I mean? Like these type of little things that I wasn't really aware of. Like hidden guilt and shame around this piece of paper in the form of a court order. It made like aspects of my being feel very, very guilty that I was not aware of because, on a conscious level I'm like, well, it's just a fact of life. It is what it is.
But there were parts of me that really needed some work around this guilt of basically being court ordered to live here in this country. It was just another layer that came back, so I was really glad that quote had triggered me to look at that, cuz I hadn't thought that there was anything attached to that still. These almost subconscious ways that we still have blocks, even when we think we're ready to meet someone, even when we believe, okay, we've done the work. I know what I want. I'm ready. That there's still some things, but some core issues that are still really blocking us from actually attracting that.
Cuz when a relationship does show up, it does provide even more of a beautiful canvas for healing for the both of you. And so it's not like we have to come in with this mentality that I have to be 100% healed and unraveled.
I still have moments where I have to interact with my ex-husband, the boy's father. And that's not always a joyous time. We try and be amicable, but it's still, there's still stuff that needs to be worked on and that is not going to put my new relationship showing up on pause. It's just something to be mindful of.
And I do see women especially getting caught up in this idea, and it's another distraction tactic that they have to have all of these things improved before they can meet somebody. And so looking at that notion itself, like that distraction of taking off all of these boxes of healing this and unraveling that is showing up as a subconscious fear around jumping into a new relationship again. That typically needs to be addressed because like you said, there's always going to be something.
Y: And would you say that is the biggest challenge for women mending that heartbreak and getting into that space of being open and ready? Is it the need to be perfect? Or what would you say is the biggest challenge?
M: It comes out is I need to be perfect.
But really the scariest bit is that when we go through a divorce or a breakup, our source of love is completely displaced. That is where a lot of women get nervous when they think of this new partner coming in
because when that source of love gets displaced, A lot of trust gets broken as well. And so if they have not mended that trust within them, mended that connection of their internal source of love, that will make them less shakeable should somebody show up and not be their absolute perfect match. It gives them more of an internal foundation to stand on.
Y: Trust is such a huge issue. It's either not trusting men and being completely blocked and wanting to repel men, like not wanting them anywhere near them. Or the fear of attracting another abusive partner narcissist, or toxic relationship. A really big lack of self trust. Not trusting themselves to pick the right person, not trusting themselves to be able to navigate dating or meeting someone.
M: It really is true because especially in terms of being with a narcissist and I've done so much work around healing from narcissistic abuse is something that I was dealing with. But what happens because narcissists can be abusers can be just so tricky. And that gaslighting is where you start to lose that concept of your own reality.
Oftentimes through these situations, our intuition tells us something is off, but we continue forward and it's when we don't heed our own intuition, where we start to break the trust within ourselves.
And so that's where I see a lot of women are very gun shy to even meet a man because they don't understand how to trust and speak for the own intuition in a way that gives them their power back. And so helping them understand what their intuition is saying, how to know that that is absolutely enough to be like, you know what? This doesn't feel in alignment with me, but thank you. You don't need to give any more excuse other than that.
But having that trust of your intuition and empowering yourself to be sovereign, basically.
Y: You're so right that a lot of women are in that space of just not having no connection with their intuition and self-trust, cuz it's just been destroyed and it reminded me of a relationship that I went through. It was definitely abusive for about four or five years. Completely lost my sense of self and by the end, something that you said triggered this memory, where I actually had no idea what was going on. I had no idea what my reality was.
So in a situation that would happen, there was my intuition that was like, oh, this is wrong! But immediately I thought I'm probably at fault. I just could not see the reality. I kind of threw my hands up, well, it's whatever they say. I guess it could be anything. Like, I have no sense of anything that's going on anymore.
M: And, and this is a really, really common pattern. It's so confusing, right.
You feel crazy. Because you know, you're looking at this red apple, this apple is red, and this person has got you convinced it's blue and you're talking yourself out of it that is red.
And it's such a basic example because I was in one for four or five years as well, and you're in another world and you have no idea how you got there.
And I remember one day I felt like I woke up and I realized I had fallen asleep at my life in a sense I had just gotten so into this mystical land of being no sense of reality whatsoever. But there was this part inside of me that was just like screaming to get out.
Y: Same for me. My body actually ended up kind of shutting down, I got so sick I lost my voice I think for about a week. I had no voice at all. And it was so metaphorical. And even then I recognized that. And that was the moment where I knew I had to leave the relationship, which I think I did the next day, while I still didn't have a voice. I was like, we need to break up.
I was in the process of therapy already. So without therapy I don't think I could have gone that route. But my connection to my intuition still took a long time to start building up. Compared with today, it's night and day.
M: That's so great to hear. I love that. And I'm glad that you mentioned you went to therapy as well because, you know, our hearts don't get broken overnight. Our trust doesn't get broken overnight. Neither does our connection to our intuition. And so we need this time to repair.
I work with women for six months at a time because we need to do it in a way that we don't re-traumatize ourselves, that we don't get overwhelmed or confused with that lack, that not knowing of what is happening and having somebody to assist you step by step to unravel those things to get outside of your own head.
Whatever type of therapy that you choose, it's so important to help you so you can become a beautiful new version of yourself that you are today without slipping back into any of those old patterns. Like I said, our compass has just been spun a bit. It's not pointing true north.
Y: For you, what was the biggest catalyst in reconnecting you to your intuition?
M: I’ve always been intuitive, especially since I was little. I’d have these dreams and I knew what was going on. I had this really strong connection to the pyramids. I would know when the phone was gonna ring and then it would ring. And I don't know how I knew it. I was just like, that was fun! And that just sort of disconnected over time with different conditioning, like you gotta figure out what you're gonna be when you grow up and go to school.
And my biggest heartbreak through this last relationship was the betrayal of my intuition, and so it took me a while to admit that I knew that this wasn't right, but I went forward anyways. And to be able to get to a space of non-judgment. Even some of my most trusted friends who are highly, highly intuitive, I could not base my big decision on anybody else's opinion or. I really needed to turn in.
And so I started to do that and I got connected with the the Akashic records. and have always been interested in the Akashic records and they kept calling back to me really, really strongly. It just a absolutely changed my life because it allowed me to connect back in with those parts of myself really in a non-judgmental space. It allowed me to be feeling like I was in the driver's seat again. And it was me getting this information from my guides and choosing what to do with it. And so it's become a daily practice for me.
Y: How would you explain the Akashic records to someone who is not in this world? So for instance, explain the Akashic Records to an IT guy.
M: IT guys are fun cuz they're so techy. So the Akashic records by definition are an energetic field of infinite possibilities. You can access this field to receive guidance in any and all areas of your life.
Basically they are the most incredible life tool since the inception of your soul. Every deed thought and action is recorded in the records,
so hence why you can go in and ask: Hey, Every time I go through transition, my bank account is really getting low. What's happening?
And maybe you will discover a money pattern that came about in your twenties, or, gosh, I was in this relationship and I lost all aspects of myself. What happened? And they might take you back to a memory when you were a little girl or a little boy.
The guides of the records are known as the guardians of the records. They're ascended masters, ascended teachers, and past loved ones, and so by going into your records, you can ask your guardians questions and receive love, support, and guidance. I love having them. They're like my team on speed dial, so they helped me feel at home wherever I am, regardless of continent country, zip code, anything like that. I'm always home because I have this.
Y: That's really nice and soothing to think that our family line or our ancestors are there to support us.
M: They are, and we all have spirit guides. And some of our spirit guides can be past loved ones that they're with us all the time. Whether you're in your records, outta your records, whether you're walking around day to day, your ancestors are here really showing up in a big way to support you.
And I think we kind of forget about that in moments of trauma. We forget we have this invisible team with us of previous loved ones.
It's nice to have that from the spiritual side. We all need that in the physical world, but that can take time. It just takes time to meet new people and find your community.
Y: So in terms of helping women take those first steps in moving forward and getting out of this defeating heartbreak do you have any practical steps, anything that women can do to get started?
M: One of my favorite tools is journaling. And there's two ways you're gonna do it. So one is just free writing and this helps you connect with your intuition, and it can be very simple. Pick up a pen, have a piece of paper and you can start writing about your morning cup of coffee or morning cup of tea, what you did yesterday, something you saw, whatever.
What's going to happen is it's going to busy your conscious mind, so you're gonna be thinking about all these details, you can write your grocery list, whatnot, and then things are gonna start to come from your pen that you might not know were in your mind. And so this is when your unconscious, your subconscious mind can come through.
The second type of journaling is really cathartic. I call it the Uncensored Journal. There's a very colorful name for it.
The MF Journal and you can MF everything that you want and you're not gonna hurt anybody energetically. You don't need to be nice or politically correct. Don't worry about spelling or swear words. Get it on the paper.
And I like people to have a separate book for this. You can tear out the pages, you can rip them up if you want to burn them. Please practice fire safety. But you can destroy those pages and have them transmute into something else.
Having a place to put that garbage it out of you and onto paper is really helpful. And they're things that you might not necessarily ever say out loud or feel guilty for thinking. So it's really healthy to get them out of the way so you can start to connect in with more of what is really inside.
Y: Interesting. I've been a journaling freak pretty much all my life, like when I was little, I had little diaries and that just evolved. I have probably, I don't know how many hundreds of journals, and I don't throw them out, I keep them. So it's pretty fun to go back. They're really good to keep to see progress. And really, some of them, you know, during times of breakup or whatever, they're word vomit. Just like you said, get it out and put it on paper.
But in terms of like complete, unfiltered, like allowing all parts of me to have a voice and to be featured on a page, I think shame comes in there big time. I definitely feel there's still a filter and I know no one's ever gonna read my journal, but maybe I'm still pretending that a part of me doesn't exist.
M: That's why I recommend a separate journal. I personally like to burn 'em because fire doesn't destroy it transforms. I don’t like the really toxic stuff next to my positive affirmations. I may be more of a journal freak. I like to keep everything like organized by categories. So I have my journaling I do with my records, my guardians, I have one for business, one particular journal that’s like my secret cloak, right? I can put it on, no one's gonna see me and I can just let it fly. I love it. And it's helpful. You have to give yourself that permission because we sometimes feel like spirituality has to be all positive and glowing, and it doesn't.
Y: Oh, very good. I'm definitely gonna start doing that for sure.
Y: If you were to give a woman who is in that space of feeling really alone one piece of advice, what would you say to her?
M: I always love to spread the message of hope.
Don't lose hope that what you desire is achievable and there are infinite number of possibilities that can occur. It’s just so necessary to meet yourself where you're at and go one step at a time.
We get so caught up in while I'm here, this doesn't feel well, I want to be over here. But really taking each and every single step is what's going to get you to where you want to be. But don't lose hope. It is absolutely possible to get where it is you want to be.
Y: As we finish today's episode, I do wanna ask you some fun little questions.
What is your favorite music or favorite song right now to dance to? I don't know if you dance. Do you dance?
M: Oh my God, I love dancing. There was some crazy Portuguese music that my boys love to listen to and love the dance to. What is the last song actually? He's a Brazilian artist. Pepas is the name of the song. I believe there's another one. It's a Brazilian artist, Jovin and it's called Wake Up Little Pedro. And it's this funny story and it's got a great beat to it and they love dancing to it. It's way outside the boxes of type of music that I like, but hey, it's fun to dance to. It'll get you going.
Y: You're single. What are you most excited about meeting your person?
M: I am most excited about that this time it’s going to be very authentic and a very supportive relationship, and it's going to be built on emotional intimacy and desire for growth, both individual and together as a couple. It is going to have a completely different foundation than any of my other relationships.
I'm equally excited and a little bit nervous because I can't imagine something I've never experienced.
So even seeing it from my guides or feeling it the way that I think it's going to be its own thing. And I just, I don't know. I don't have all the answers. So it's equally exciting and a little bit nerve-wracking.
Y: I love that. Like that excitement and like a little bit of nervousness around that. For sure.
For women that are interested in your work and exploring the Akashic Records, where can we find you and how can someone work with you?
M: I have a website: morganrockwell.com. I'm much more active on Facebook, and you'll have the link in the show, I believe it's @Morganrockwell111 You can stay on my personal feed or you can jump into my club, which is called the Mended Hearts Club. It's a private group, but in both places I run all of the same things. It just depends on what people like.
I do a lot of free master classes. I've got one coming up. I do a lot of free healings all around mending broken hearts.
And then I have smaller offers where you can do love journey clearings and recalibration up to like six months of coaching, which is super beneficial for anybody who's been through a big breakup, a divorce, especially if you have kids or if it's a long-term relationship.
Taking those six months, really peeling back the layers one step at a time is what assists women in creating the life of their dreams and becoming that powerful vision of themselves.
Y: Awesome. Thank you so much, Morgan. I really appreciate you coming on today and sharing your story with us. It's an incredible story. I could talk to you for a lot longer about it. Thank you very much for coming on today.
M: Thank you so much for having me. It's been just a joy. Thank you.
LINKS
Connect with Morgan:
Join Morgan's Masterclass- Unmasking A Persona To Mend A Broken Heart
Follow Morgan on FB
Follow Morgan on Insta
Dating Greatly Playlist on Spotify-
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Work with Yvonne:
Slide into my DM's on Insta
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