Ep 15- How To Connect To Your Partner Using The Power Of The Enneagram | with Natalia Hernandez
Welcome to Dating Greatly.
On today’s episode I chat with the beautiful Natalia Hernandez.
In this episode I am joined by Enneagram expert, Natalia Hernandez as she explores how we can have successful relationships using the powerful tool of the Enneagram.
Natalia shares her personal dating experiences and how she stopped running from relationships and embraced her loving marriage by learning to communicate as a Type 7. She talks about how her husband's Enneagram type supports her as woman and as a mother.
From finding closure to navigating healthy disagreements, Natalia shares wisdom and practical advice for anyone seeking to improve their love life and enhance their relationships!
Enjoy today’s episode!
Yvonne [00:00:36]:
Thank you so much, Natalia, for being here with me today and for chatting with me.
Natalia Hernandez [00:00:43]:
Yeah, thanks for having me on.
Yvonne [00:00:45]:
I'm very excited to talk all things Enneagram and relationships. There's a few questions that I had that I kind of wanted to start with, and I feel like the one I'm being called to is to ask you. Before you found the support of the Enneagram and also in your current relationship, where were you at before? How did your relationships in the past kind of compare to your relationships of today?
Natalia Hernandez [00:01:13]:
Oh, my gosh. So there is no comparing. The whole reason I found the Enneagram or decided to use it as a tool and have it really change things for me is because of my relationships. I had a friend asked me, oh, are you an Enneagram type seven? I was like, I don't even know what that is. And she said, oh, my gosh, you have to go and read up on this. And I did. And at first it was almost like I got smacked right in the face because with truth and what it showed me was the reasons why I had left all the relationships I had been in. I really left every single relationship.
Natalia Hernandez [00:02:04]:
I've never been dumped or broken up with. It's always been me. And I never could put into words why that was. I just knew if there was too much tension or there were little problems or I felt some kind of negative emotion, I would just run. So the enneagram, what it showed me was that after I did the assessment and all that, I learned I was a type seven. And type seven do not like to feel any kind of negative emotion. We have what's called half range of emotions. And that half range is all the wonderful feelings, excitement and happiness and joy and all that kind of a thing.
Yvonne [00:02:45]:
Yeah.
Natalia Hernandez [00:02:46]:
So there is no comparing because my marriage is what it is because of the Enneagram.
Yvonne [00:02:55]:
For people that have never heard of the Enneagram before, how would you explain it? In a nutshell?
Natalia Hernandez [00:03:00]:
So the enneagram is a tool. Sure, you can say it's a personality assessment, but it's a tool. It's a tool to help you understand the reasonings behind what you do. So we call it the core motivations. So there's different reasons why people do things. And so the Enneagram is like your mirror. It shows you the reasons why you behave the way you do, take decisions the way you do communicate and express yourself The Way You Do. Oh, and the types.
Natalia Hernandez [00:03:30]:
There's nine different types.
Yvonne [00:03:32]:
Okay.
Natalia Hernandez [00:03:32]:
So everyone sort of falls into one of these nine different buckets, so to.
Yvonne [00:03:38]:
Speak, for women that are single, that are wanting a loving relationship that maybe haven't had too much luck in the past. And now they're apprehensive about getting back in the dating arena and the relationship arena. How do you think that could benefit a woman like that? Just finding out about her enneagram.
Natalia Hernandez [00:03:56]:
Oh, my gosh. Yeah, it's incredibly helpful. First of all, I think they will clearly understand what's happened in the past. I really feel like that's sort of the starting point. Because if you don't understand what's happened in the past, then how do you make better decisions moving forward? So I think that's number one. They can see themselves clearly when they learn their type of, oh, this is what happened in this relationship. This is why I said what I said or whatever the case is. I was even thinking about this not too long ago.
Natalia Hernandez [00:04:26]:
If it wasn't for the enneagram I've been married almost seven years now. We've been together over, like, eleven. But even in that which is my most longest relationship, I'm 40 and I could still see patterns from my old self pre enneagram. And I always wondered to myself, how long will this last? Mind you, I'm already married. We bought a house, which is really big deal. We have a baby. And I still had that thought in my mind. Right.
Natalia Hernandez [00:05:05]:
Is this going to last? And when am I going to leave? And after I learned the enneagram, I understood myself and more importantly, understood my husband and his quirks and his reasonings for things and just who he is. And because of that, I can honestly say I don't ever doubt anymore. There is no thought of like, is this going to last? It's like of course there's no doubt. This is it. There's no running from anything anymore. I can't even really compare what relationships for me were before and where things are now.
Yvonne [00:05:44]:
So what do you think it was back then that had you running? I know you mentioned any kind of tension, any kind of non positive emotions. And now that you know so much more about yourself, what do you think happened in those moments?
Natalia Hernandez [00:06:01]:
So I'll say this the idea that I had in my head so also type sevens are idealists. So we have this grand vision, right? And I thought a lot about that. And I'm going to say my parents have been together, I don't know, 40 something years, and I never saw them. At least from my perspective. Right? I never saw them argue or have any kind of spat disagreement in front of me. I just never did. Either they never did it, or my perception was that that didn't exist. So I always saw them so happy and love.
Natalia Hernandez [00:06:42]:
And It Wasn't Until Mid 20s or no, late 20s, when I realized, oh, wait, it's not true. You become an adult, you open up more with your parents, and they shared a lot more. It's like, no, they would argue all the time, but just they did it not in front of the kids.
Yvonne [00:06:59]:
Right.
Natalia Hernandez [00:06:59]:
And so my thought was, oh, relationships, good, healthy ones like the ones my parents have because they are perfect, is just lovely and affection and just all these wonderful things. And so when I got into my own relationships and that wasn't the case, the majority of the time, it's like, oh, wait a minute, this isn't perfect. Like my parents, this is wrong. Like, let's say I was just having an argument with a boyfriend. If that lasted longer than a day, I was like, oh, we're not compatible. He's not understanding me. Okay, this isn't going to work. Okay, I got to go.
Natalia Hernandez [00:07:36]:
I didn't have sort of like the emotional capability to really talk things through, like a proper, quote unquote adult and say, this is how I feel. What do you feel? That language I didn't have. We feel trapped in this emotional pain. Everyone feels sadness, everyone feels disappointment. However, for a seven, it feels like you'll be in it forever, and then it feels like everything is wrong in life as opposed to this very specific issue that will eventually get resolved.
Yvonne [00:08:11]:
That's so interesting what you said about the conflict, too, what you observed as a kid. And a lot of times you hear, like, for parents, well, let's not fight in front of the kids, or let's not have those conversations in front of the kids to protect them, which is a noble thing, and it's responsible, and that's wonderful. And then on the other hand, in your case, you then also didn't get to witness these conversations, this kind of communication, maybe conflict that then resolves again to come back to this loving place, which they always did, but it sounds like it always happened behind closed doors. So that's really interesting and like a different perspective on protecting your kids from healthy it could be healthy communication, which it sounds like it was in. Your parents can actually just have us not be familiar with that piece at all.
Natalia Hernandez [00:09:06]:
Yeah. And as a mom now, I always take that into consideration when if there's ever a disagreement between my husband and I, I don't wait until my son isn't in the room. I allow him to experience what it is when his two parents who love each other are disagreeing, and I'm going to have that. Now, we don't yell like crazy, we don't do curse words, none of that. But it is a healthy disagreement of, I don't agree with that. And this is my point of view. And we have these conversations in front of him, and sometimes he has said, oh, stop arguing, and we say, no, we're not arguing. No, he'll say, stop fighting.
Natalia Hernandez [00:09:45]:
We're not fighting. We're just not agreeing. And we're talking through it. And he understands talking through it because when he goes to time out, we always say, let's talk through this. Right. So he understands that verbiage. So I say this. We're not fighting.
Natalia Hernandez [00:09:59]:
We're talking through this because we're not agreeing. And that's okay. You can disagree and argue, and that's okay. And I remember that as being such an important thing for me as a mom to do and show him, because I didn't have that. Of course, like you said, my parents are trying to do the noble thing. Right. That's also a very old school way of thinking. Like, you don't fight in front of the kids and all that, but I want him to know that life isn't wonderful all the time and joyful all the time.
Natalia Hernandez [00:10:30]:
There are hard moments, and sometimes things suck, and you can fight and argue and then come right back and have what he likes to call group hugs, and then everything's fine. Okay. As a type seven, I'm in the aggressive stance, so when I talk, it's really passionate, and I can raise my voice. I'm not yelling. I'm just like, this is my point of view when I very interact. So I can see from a little four and a half year old that he's like, oh, why are you fighting? It's like no, I'm sorry. This is just how Mommy talks.
Yvonne [00:11:03]:
Yes. So you're predominantly a seven, is that right? And what about your husband? So what is your husband's tendency with conflict, for instance?
Natalia Hernandez [00:11:16]:
Yeah, so that's also very different. And that was challenging. And again, so glad I found the enneagram because I was able to really understand him. He's a type five, and type five are much more introverted. They're not at all aggressive. They're what's called the withdrawn stance. So as a seven, right, let's say let's give a good example. Before the enneagram, I would have something to say.
Natalia Hernandez [00:11:44]:
I would ring it up and just word vomit, right? This is what I think and this is what I feel, and just all of these things. Okay, now give me your response. He would either respond with, like, one or two words, or he'd say, I don't really see a problem. Or he'd say, So what do you want me to do to fix this? There wasn't I'm going to relate back to you with how I feel. There wasn't let's have this open dialogue about this. And there wasn't an empathetic, compassionate moment. Or he would take a long time to really process what I said and then come back, like, a day later. And before the enneagram, I interpreted all of that to be dismissive, either to be dismissive or like, again, we had a problem in our relationship because I felt like we weren't connecting on that more deeper level when there were work issues.
Natalia Hernandez [00:12:45]:
So here I am trying, and I'm getting back what I consider to be resistance to what I was saying or just kind of like dismissive, not really caring. Like he's got other things going on in his mind when that wasn't the case at all. So it's not that me and him couldn't communicate, it's that we didn't understand our communication styles. And that took some learning. And when I saw the Enneagram and I read his tie, well, you know, he took the test and we found out he was a five, I was like, oh, that makes so much sense. And I immediately felt a little terrible for all these negative things I was telling in my head that he was like, he just doesn't care. He doesn't want to pay attention to what's going on. He'd rather just be off on his own.
Natalia Hernandez [00:13:34]:
And it's like, no, because doesn't have as much energy as I have to emotionally handle these kinds of things, these slower paced right. And that's okay too, as long as you're aware of the differences and can work through them together.
Yvonne [00:13:49]:
Yeah. Interesting. And I wonder too, as you're talking about the type that your husband is, is there for men with the Enneagram type, do men commonly have similar types? Because it just sounds like the logical, the thinking, the taking more time, they're not really accessing. Like what am I feeling? That also sounds really masculine. So I wonder if is there some kind of pattern there?
Natalia Hernandez [00:14:19]:
So there really isn't. There's every different kinds of types, but the types that I've worked with and that I've spoken with the most have been men that have been types four, fives and nines. All of them are in the withdrawn stance. So to your point, yes. But at the same time, type fours are highly emotional people. They are deep wells of empathy, deep wells of emotion, which you really wouldn't correlate to be such a masculine thing. That's something more you would think, oh, women are more the feelers.
Yvonne [00:14:58]:
Yeah.
Natalia Hernandez [00:14:59]:
And the aggressive stances. Like me types three, sevens and eight, that's more a masculine thing. But the men that I've spoken to the most have been really four, fives and nines. You can sort of like pick and see which ones, but typically no, they're typically all across the board.
Yvonne [00:15:15]:
Okay, interesting. So when you met your husband, I want to know the story, by the way, how you guys met and how you knew like, okay, this is the person, this is the person that I'm not going to run from, I'm going to stick around. Which parts of his personality attracted you and made you feel, I guess, safe enough to stay?
Natalia Hernandez [00:15:40]:
So this is one of those kind of like I don't know if it's serendipitous or whatever it is. I think our intuition and our gut has so much to offer us if we were to pay more attention to it because and this was clearly before I even knew the enneagram, but a type seven, when they are at their healthiest, they move towards a type five. So when I first met him, there were two sides. One was, he's a little quieter than I am, I don't know how that's going to work, but at the same time, just his presence, his being offered me a calm. It offered me a groundedness I don't know if that's a word. I felt grounded in his presence that I had never felt before. And as a seven, being very high energy, kind of like fluttering around, kind of like erratic excitement, like a firecracker energy, I need that in my life because it's hard to exist in such high energy all of the time, but I didn't know how to access that in myself. Yes, I could exercise, yes, I've done meditation, things like that, all very helpful, but to be living where you feel grounded at all times is something completely different.
Natalia Hernandez [00:17:08]:
And I never knew that my soul needed it. So when I met him, it was a split of, we're so different. But there was also this other half of like, but don't leave this, don't run. Something intuitively was like, this is what you need. This is the stability and support that is missing within you. You have enough energy and joy for the both of you, but he's the only one that can offer you this strength that you need. And I stayed with it, and I'm so glad that I did, because then after learning the Enneagram, I'm like, no wonder in my healthiest, sevens take on the best traits of the five, which is slowing down. It's not being impulsive, it's thinking things through.
Natalia Hernandez [00:18:06]:
And those are all the things that he provides for me that I wouldn't have been able to put into words again for you before the way I am now. And so it was that turning point of, there is something here, don't run from that. And I'm just thankful that I trusted that unknowingly, because we've got a really great, healthy marriage now.
Yvonne [00:18:35]:
And what's the story of how you met?
Natalia Hernandez [00:18:39]:
So I had been in a relationship before him for about four years, and of course, I love that relationship. And it was the kind of relationship I had always been in. He's an actor. Before that, I was with a musician, so it was always these adventurous kind of people and creatives in this kind of space, because that's what I thought that I wanted, because that's kind of how I am. But I told a friend, jokingly, I said, I am sick of dating all these men who are so fun, and they're like Me, we love to live life and joyful. All this stuff I'm done with these types. Like, the next guy I date, he's going to be in computers, he's going to be an accountant, or just something boring, like he works on computers. And she's like, no, come on, really? You'll be so bored.
Natalia Hernandez [00:19:34]:
And I said, no, I'm over this. He's going to be someone that works with computers.
Yvonne [00:19:38]:
Yeah.
Natalia Hernandez [00:19:39]:
Fast forward a year. And my hairstylist was cutting his hair, and she kind of brought up to me about this guy that cuts his hair, and he's from Puerto Rico, and he works in It. And I said, what? Absolutely not. How boring. No way. I had forgotten about that conversation that.
Yvonne [00:20:01]:
I had with my friend.
Natalia Hernandez [00:20:04]:
He slipped in my Facebook profile. He started sending me messages. We started talking back and forth. I was like, this guy's really smart, and he's so witty. And then we just started we decided to go out for a drink, and after talking for some time, and we just clicked right away. There was, like, intense chemistry between the two of us, again, in a completely different way. His was a very understated confidence, as opposed to the confidence that I was used to before. That was very extroverted and flamboyant and all these things.
Natalia Hernandez [00:20:40]:
It was a quiet inner strength that really intrigued me because it was the opposite of who I am.
Yvonne [00:20:46]:
Yeah.
Natalia Hernandez [00:20:47]:
And I never thought being with someone so different from me would be the thing to make it stick, and it turns out that it was. And so we ended up dating, and then we never broke up. And then my friend reminded me of that conversation of like, oh, but isn't he an it? Isn't that what you told me? I was like, oh, my God, did I manifest this?
Yvonne [00:21:11]:
It sounds like you did, yeah. And so neat too. That the hairdresser, I guess. Also, like you said, the serendipitous ways put the two of you together. I mean, he has plenty of clients, but there's something that made him see something.
Natalia Hernandez [00:21:30]:
Yeah, exactly. And I did not want to get involved in anything else because I knew my pattern, again, would be to jump right into something right away, something more exciting to distract me from other things. So I was hesitant. So I think we even waited a couple of months before we started really saying, okay, we're dating. Let's make this more serious. So I even took my time in that, and I think that was also helpful, to allow myself to have a little bit of that space and not.
Yvonne [00:22:02]:
Rush in and like you said, make those, I guess, impulsive decisions, but take your time. Yeah. Interesting. And did anything come up for you as it got more serious around commitment, like being a seven? This thing, you don't want to be limited or restrained. I think that was part of it. Did anything come up for you there? Do you remember any moments where you were like, oh, my God, wanting to run, but not yes.
Natalia Hernandez [00:22:27]:
There was this one moment where we think we're a couple of months in, and my husband I don't know if this is a five thing or not, or just maybe just true to him, he said, okay, what are we doing? I want to define this. Are you in or are you out? And I remember we were in his kitchen. I said, well can't just be hanging out. And he's like, no, we've been doing that. So are you in or are you out? I guess I'm in, but in the back of my head I said, I'm not. I'm just going to tell him that I'm in because I'm ready to let this go and I don't want to. But he apparently needs an answer, so I'm just going to go ahead and tell him what he wants to hear. I also didn't want to have that conversation.
Natalia Hernandez [00:23:12]:
Right. That's awkward. I don't want to have that. But I just went ahead and told him I'm in. But in the back of my head, I knew I could just leave at any time. Right.
Yvonne [00:23:21]:
You have that out.
Natalia Hernandez [00:23:22]:
Yeah, I always had the out in the back of my mind, always. But then I was the one that pressed to get married. Yeah. Two years later I said, okay, so what's happening here? Remember, he always wanted to get married, but he's slower in making decisions. He goes through the pros and cons and he thinks all these things and I am much more impulsive. So when I knew like this is where it was at, I said, let's go. When are we getting married? Okay, you've got till new year's. Gave him an ultimatum.
Yvonne [00:23:56]:
Wow.
Natalia Hernandez [00:23:57]:
Because we had been together, I think two years at that point and we were already in our 30s. So I said, hey, you've got till new year's. And that worked out great because the day after Christmas, he proposed.
Yvonne [00:24:12]:
Wow, that's so sweet. How did that happen?
Natalia Hernandez [00:24:17]:
It was the day before we were leaving to go to Puerto Rico. He's from Puerto Rico, so we're going to go visit family. And he had it underneath one of our Christmas gifts and he wanted to take it. We were going to take our Christmas gifts to Puerto Rico and celebrate know, morning there and open up all the gifts. But being myself and the seven true to nature, I was like, I want to open gifts now. Give you my gift now. He said, no, let's pack. We have to pack still and then we have an early flight.
Natalia Hernandez [00:24:47]:
We'll do this tomorrow. No, I want to open them now. That's so boring. Give me one gift. Let's open. He's like, oh, my gosh. So I remember him being annoyed with me that I really wanted to open gifts at like 10:00 at night. And he said, all right, I gave him one.
Natalia Hernandez [00:25:05]:
He opened and then he gave me one and I'm opening the gift. And at the bottom, he had taped the ring to the bottom of this jewelry box that he had gotten to me. And so when I flipped it over, there was the ring sitting just so pretty and I would never have imagined or guessed it. And I saw, I was like, oh my God. And the first true to his nature, the first thing he said is, you see, do you understand why I didn't want to open the gifts now? But you kept pushing. You kept pushing. So now this is how I have to give you the ring. So excited.
Natalia Hernandez [00:25:45]:
He's like, it was supposed to be in Puerto Rico tomorrow on Christmas Day. And he was like, huffing and puffing over it, and he had it all made me but it was fine. Yeah, it was perfect. Yeah.
Yvonne [00:25:56]:
That's so sweet. Wow. In your married life together now, and as parents as well, how do your Enneagram types complement each other?
Natalia Hernandez [00:26:09]:
They complement each other. That's a good question. So we're both logical, we're both in the head center. So types five, sixes, and sevens, we're all very logical, rational thinkers. So that's very helpful because we approach issues in the same way, especially when it comes to school issues and things like that. So that's where we're the same. We differ in that. I am, again, much more open minded, much more adventure seeking.
Natalia Hernandez [00:26:43]:
I react quickly to things, and he's slower, and we balance each other out as well because sometimes I have the tendency to plan a lot of things on the weekends, as sevens like to do. And he's really good at sort of like, checking in with me and saying, hey, is that going to give you enough time to go work out? Is that going to give you enough time to prepare for their week or do that thing that you want to do? He's mindful in that way to say, I know you want to do these things for him, but do you really need to? I think he'll be okay at home. I don't think he has to be doing all these things. So that's very helpful.
Yvonne [00:27:23]:
Yeah. And that's so helpful in general to know about yourself and then to communicate that. Because even if your partner or the person you're dating isn't into the enneagram and hasn't taken the test, it's still like as you're starting to communicate healthier and asking for grace or patience or whatever it is that's going to be a mirror for them as well. To be like, oh, I can communicate this to her as well.
Natalia Hernandez [00:27:46]:
Yeah, I mean, the Enneagram is really for yourself. It's beneficial in relationships, but it is a personal growth tool. It's for you. And one person can really change an entire relationship if one person is that self aware because you just show up differently and then you're forcing your partner to meet you where you're at, and that can shift an entire relationship. The Enneagram is just for you first and foremost.
Yvonne [00:28:14]:
Yeah. So what would you recommend is like a good first step for women, for men as well? Listening to get to get into the Enneagram.
Natalia Hernandez [00:28:25]:
So there's a lot of online quizzes I recommend not doing a quiz, but instead reading all the different nine types. You can read them all on the Enneagram Institute for free. Their website enneagram Institute. If you really want to take a test or a quiz, you can use Truity, you can use Enneagram Institute. There's a lot of other really great ones, but the most important thing I would say is no matter if you take a quiz, you're going to get all nine types showing up, but you're going to get some that are higher in percentage. So I recommend reading the top four or so results, the ones that you've got the highest percentage of, read through them, analyze them all carefully, see which one sort of like lands and resonates with you the most, the ones that you look at and you go, oh, I don't really like that person. That might be you, because that's a little trigger for yourself. That's a part of you that maybe you didn't wish were there.
Natalia Hernandez [00:29:29]:
Darn it.
Yvonne [00:29:31]:
I was just thinking about my own results and I was like, well, yeah, I really resonate with these ones because I perceive those to be really nice. And then I was just in the thought of like, yeah, number three, success driven workhorse. Nah, I'm not that. And then you mentioned the trigger, like the ones you don't really like. It's probably who you are.
Natalia Hernandez [00:29:48]:
I'm like, yeah, darn it, yeah, absolutely. Because again, the Enneagram is a mirror, so it's going to reflect back to you those parts that we don't like. The fun parts are great, but it's the parts that we don't like. And I would also say as the last tip on that, as people are reading through, is to keep in mind of how you've been the majority of your life. So we're talking teenage years up until maybe your late 20s. What has been the tendency for you? You want to look at that time period because after that we become more self aware. We read books and personal development, things like that, and so our perception of things can change. However, we are our truest selves between teenage years and sort of like early 20s.
Yvonne [00:30:45]:
Interesting. Yeah.
Natalia Hernandez [00:30:47]:
So those are going to be the.
Yvonne [00:30:48]:
Tendencies that kind of pop up and then as we're healing, getting more aware, we're getting more of the positive qualities of all of them, I suppose.
Natalia Hernandez [00:30:57]:
Yes.
Yvonne [00:30:57]:
But it's going to be the negative ones that are going to trigger us in relationships that are going to make it hard for us.
Natalia Hernandez [00:31:03]:
Yeah. So when you're reading through all nine types, don't think about one of these types being who you are today, where you stand. It's more of what's truest for me, when I was teenager to mid twenty.
Yvonne [00:31:17]:
S. And so from the time that a long time ago when your friend mentioned, oh, you sound like you're a seven, to today, where has the Enneagram journey taken you?
Natalia Hernandez [00:31:30]:
Oh, it went from hitting me. In the face to helping me understand my past and help me reconcile with who I am and stop really beating myself up for the way I left the relationships I had left. I had even done that in a friendship of mine with the girlfriend that I was friends with her since elementary school. So I spent a lot of time really living in guilt and shame for how I handled those situations and helped me heal that past of myself and then understand how I can make better choices. And then it led me to make better choices. It led me to communicate better with my husband. And everyone in my life, honestly, has helped me slow down and just becoming so much more aware of myself and doing that. I said, Other people need well, I started talking about the Enneagram to just about anyone that would listen.
Natalia Hernandez [00:32:32]:
And then people started asking me questions about how to use that in relationships. And I said, you know what? Maybe I can get certified in this. So I joined Enneagram University, I got certified through them, and then I opened up my own coaching business. And so it's where I stand today, helping either individuals or couples, but all through the Enneagram as the foundational tool. I hate to be dramatic. I'm like, the Enneagram changed my life, but it's like, yeah, kind of did.
Yvonne [00:33:04]:
Yeah, it really sounds like it did. Yeah. And how awesome that you get to help other people gain that awareness and have those tools in their tool belt to navigate relationships and life really a little bit easier. And so for people listening that are resonating and that are interested in this and possibly interested in working with you, how can they connect with you?
Natalia Hernandez [00:33:30]:
Yeah. So I'm on Instagram at Natalia Hernandez coaching. You can also just go to my website, which is by the same name, Nataliarnandezcoaching.com. I have tons of information there, and, yeah, I work with either individuals or couples on their relationships, and it's all based through the lens of the Enneagram.
Yvonne [00:33:48]:
Excellent. Lovely. And is there anything that in our conversation that I haven't asked you or we haven't covered yet that you really want to address or talk about?
Natalia Hernandez [00:34:01]:
I think if your listeners just take anything away from this episode is especially if they're single and they're really struggling in their love life and feel conflicted with maybe reconciling what's happened in the past to really invest in themselves with their time in reading up on the enneagram. Even if they never purchase a book, even if they never hire anyone just for their own personal awareness. And a lot of women try to find closure in other relationships or even seeking closure out from their exes. And the closure you get from yourself and I've said it before to clients, and I'll say it here, the Enneagram is the quickest and easiest way you're going to find closure from what's happened, because it is that mirror. And so I would really encourage your listeners to just get online and just it's all free. It's all there available. Just read up on the types and dive into that because there's going to be a lot of closure in a lot of different areas.
Yvonne [00:35:19]:
The quiz that I took, it's definitely some of them resonate. So I'm going to look at it now with also what you mentioned, like your childhood, teenage years, and then also read up on them, noticing which ones bother me, what are the triggers. So I'll see. I'm sure it's going to bring another level of clarity.
Natalia Hernandez [00:35:37]:
Yeah. You know which one bothered me the most for the seven wasn't the avoidance of emotions, it was gluttony. So sevens, it's like their vice is gluttony, which is like over consumption of everything. Sevens can also have the tendency to become addicted to things, alcohol, narcotics, things like that. I thankfully haven't had an issue with that. But the overconsumption and I'm someone who is a big snacker and I can't just have one cookie, I need three, and I can't just watch one Netflix show. I want to watch three episodes. And that bothered me because I don't like that part of myself.
Natalia Hernandez [00:36:22]:
I'm highly aware that it's challenging for me to just grab one snack and not five. And that really bothers me. Makes to feel like I'm out of control and I don't have no self control. And that's what triggered me the most. I'm like that is 100% true for me in so many areas of my life.
Yvonne [00:36:42]:
I totally resonate with that. Like the overindulging of anything that's pleasurable. All of a sudden, if I'm with my person and I'm enjoying it, I have no boundaries, my self care and time limits, and I'll go out the window. I'm just impulsive in the moment. This is great. I want more an addiction like behavior, for sure. And I have that with food as well. And the more stressed I am, the more that behavior comes out because I just want more of the good feeling things.
Natalia Hernandez [00:37:19]:
Yes, 100%. It's not our best side. No.
Yvonne [00:37:26]:
That's really good, though.
Natalia Hernandez [00:37:28]:
Okay.
Yvonne [00:37:28]:
And yeah, just before we wrap up for today, what song are you currently dancing to?
Natalia Hernandez [00:37:34]:
Oh, my gosh, that's a good one. Okay, so this might completely be out of left field, but I am actually listening to some slower music because it's not that easy for me still to tap into more heartfelt things. So sometimes I enjoy listening to satter music like Adele and things like that because it lets me feel. But before we started recording, I was listening to some Adele and was all in my so that's what I tend to do lately.
Yvonne [00:38:22]:
That's awesome. I love that. And do you have a specific song that comes to mind from really?
Natalia Hernandez [00:38:28]:
I just I listen to her latest album on repeat. I just listen to them all.
Yvonne [00:38:35]:
All right, well, thank you. Thank you so much, Natalia, for chatting with me today. It was super interesting hearing more about the enneagram about your story and about how yeah, it's helped transform your life and yeah, very excited for where you're at.
Natalia Hernandez [00:38:51]:
Oh, my gosh. Thank you for having me on your show. I really hope that your listeners got a lot out of this and was able to put all this into really good use in their personal life. And thank you. Thank you for allowing me to come on your platform and share this. You're welcome.
Yvonne [00:39:07]:
Thank you.
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Dating Greatly Playlist on Spotify- an uplifting playlist of dance tracks, curated by Dating Greatly guests<3
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Whole Hearted Love Program- find out more!
Intro Song: Bensound- Summer