Understanding Pain: What Your Body is Trying to Tell You
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Hey Everyone, thanks for joining us! Today we’re going to be talking about… Body Stuff. In particular, pain and the consequences of ignoring our bodies.
I want to share a story from myself where I ignored my body and all the signals it was giving me. I was in a relationship for four years. My boyfriend was an alcoholic, and it was a stressful volatile relationship. Violence, emotional abuse, all that. Six months into the relationship my gut knew it was never going to work out. Four years later I was still in the relationship. I couldn't end it. It was horrible. I lost myself, had no self-esteem, and felt shitty and anxious all the time.
Six months into the relationship my gut knew it was never going to work out. Four years later I was still in the relationship.
Then one day I got sick. I had laryngitis. I got so sick that I lost my voice. What a metaphor! My body was kicking me in the ass and telling me ‘You've completely lost yourself so I am going to take your voice. Now you got nothing, now do you see?’ There was nothing of me left and my body finally took my voice. Within a week I made the decision of leaving the relationship.
The only time we listen to our bodies is when it becomes so bad that we develop cancer, need surgery, or it's a disorder or disease that physically stops us. I met a man who was diagnosed with MS, multiple sclerosis. Suddenly he could no longer work hard and do the things he wanted to do, he couldn’t go go go like he did before. He had to start listening to his body. With MS there is a fine line of overworking your body. He said to me MS was the best thing to have happened to him. He got closer to his family and his health improved because he had to listen and take care of his body. His body literally took over his life.
The only time we listen to our bodies is when it becomes so bad that we develop cancer, need surgery, or it's a disorder or disease that physically stops us.
Gabor Mate wrote a book, When the Body Says No- the Cost of Hidden Stress. He talks about MS and commonalities between patients that had MS was an inability to say no. Constantly saying yes to people, not listening to themselves, not being able to set boundaries; eventually these tendencies developed so much stress in the body that they developed into MS. Gabor Mate makes the case that many diseases like MS, diabetes, breast cancer, autoimmune diseases and chronic pain are due to repressed emotions; pushing our emotions down, not talking about our feelings and that stress manifesting as disease.
Diseases like MS, diabetes, breast cancer, autoimmune disease and chronic pain are due to repressed emotions; pushing our emotions down, not talking about our feelings and that stress manifesting as disease.
When we have a cold or migraine our body is really asking us to rest. Because our body
1) has had stress and we didn't listen
2) it took down our immune system
3) now you've got the cold and are trying to push through that too.
Jim Carrey ignoring his body at work.
A lot of the time we say Oh I’m just feeling stressed, it doesn't mean anything, I don't need to listen to it. But when we feel something and say Oh I'm just stressed- you're not JUST stressed. You're stressed. It's your body's alarm system going off, bells dinging, trying to get you to pay attention that there is something going on.
Growing up in my family, we worked hard. We didn't stay home because we had a cold or a headache. So many times in my working life I went to work with a fever. I remember feeling like my head was detached from my body and I was totally zoned out. But I told myself, It's only a fever, I'm not going to stay home because of it. I remember working as a receptionist at the front desk and answering the phone, but my throat was so sore that my boss could barely understand me.. My boss said she was coming in to work for me. I can't believe I did that.
What's interesting is with covid it's really in your face about how many times you go to work despite feeling unwell. With covid there is a procedure that when you feel unwell you don't go to work. But I always go to work with a headache or a stomach ache. It was permission for the first time to stay home when I didn't feel well.
So how do we listen to our bodies? How do we avoid our bodies giving us serious disease? How do we start paying attention?
It's something that goes against what we enjoy- sitting with discomfort. We're not taught as little kids, this is what your body is telling you, listen to your body and how to deal with emotions in a healthy way. Our parents didn't know and their parents didn't know and it goes on and on.
The reason why we suck at listening to our bodies, is a lot of us don't want to sit past that point of discomfort. I've gotten to that good point where being in my body feels like home. One of the ways I do it is journal. I ask questions for myself and the answers come from my body. I go with the flow and don't make it formal. That's one way.
The reason why we suck at listening to our bodies, is a lot of us don't want to sit past that point of discomfort.
Meditation is a huge thing to learn to sit with the discomfort, and it's baby steps. I suck at meditating! I want to run away from it. I'll be sitting cross legged on the floor thinking Oh God, I am so uncomfortable! This hurts so bad! My back, my tailbone, my sit bone!
Adam Driver doesn’t like pain either.
Another thing I do is find out what makes me feel better. Play hot and cold with your body. Does being in nature provide me some relief? Does doing something creative give me some relief? Does it add or take away from the monkey mind?
When something comes up, like my stomach is cramping or I'm getting tight in the chest, or recently the back of my neck is stiff, I just notice that. I take a moment and tune in and feel it and feel the tension. I always ask What are you trying to tell me? Be with the sensation before you take a Tylenol. Allow it to be there, even if only for 30 seconds. It doesn't have to be a long time you sit with it, it's about acknowledgement. It's about saying I feel you!
I have a migraine right now.
Excellent.
Thanks so much for joining us everybody, we will see you next time! If you enjoyed today's episode you will love Episode 4- Why We Body Shame Ourselves and What we Can Do About It.
If you are a woman and want to join the deeper conversation, come over to my fb group: Insane Calm Posse.